To the parents of those lost in Connecticut...

In the aftermath of the shooting this weekend in Connecticut, I feel as if I should write this blog.  I want to start first by saying that I am deeply saddened and all of my love goes out to the families of the victims of this tragedy.  There is absolutely nothing that I, or anyone else can say to make this pain go away.  Mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers and family members, you are going to hear a lot of things, and one of those is that time will heal your wounds.  This is crap.  Time doesn't do anything.  I lost my daughter 7 years ago... Her birthday, and the day she died, is always a giant reminder.  That being said, every day that she isn't here with me, is a reminder.  She was taken far too soon.  That will never change.  People think this more awful because it is happening so close to Christmas, but the truth is, every Christmas will be a reminder, and will never be easy to celebrate with your children not by your side.  The man who did this will always be on your mind.  The children that lived, when your child didn't, will always be in the back of your mind.  Those who tell you that God had another plan for your child, or he "needed" them more than you; those people are trying to help... But it never helps to hear that your child was taken from you, whether to serve a higher purpose or not.  The best way to deal with what others say, in my opinion, is to tell them "thank you", and then walk away.  Once you are at home, you can vent and say how you really feel.  This is what I did.  I had a woman compare the death of her cat to the death of my daughter... I wanted to hit this woman.  But I smiled, and thanked her for being there at the funeral.  I then went on to be upset, and blog about the things she had said.  Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, compares to the loss of a child.  We are supposed to outlive our children.  They are supposed to bury us, this is the natural order of life.  Unfortunately, life has no real "order", does it?  This Christmas, many will "celebrate" (as much as they can) without their loved one.  This Christmas, I will "celebrate" (as much as I can) for the 7th year without my beautiful Julia Grace.  I will look at my other 2 children and know that they should have their sister here with them.  I will buy gifts knowing that I should be buying things for her.  This Christmas will be different than the rest without her.  This Christmas, I will know that there are 20 other families mourning the loss of their children, and trying to find a way to just survive, to just wake up in the morning, without their little ones.  This year, I will mourn the loss of my daughter, and mourn for the other families who have suffered from this tragedy.  Because I know what it feels like to lose a child, and it is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. There were days when I wished it was me, and not her.  The only thing that kept me going was Julia's older sister Olivia.  I knew that I had to be strong for Olivia.  Trust me, there were times when I broke down, and she had to be the strong one for me.  As a parent you take on so much more than you could ever imagine.  The death of a loved one, may get easier as time passes, but the death of a child never will.

To the families of the teachers who lost their lives... Know that those teachers went to work everyday making minimal pay, because they loved those children they taught.  They spent long hours, after work, making sure that those children were taught to their fullest.  They did everything they could to make sure that the children they taught were smart, and safe.  They lost their lives, all of them, saving the lives of others.  Even before this tragic event, they cared so much more than you could ever imagine about those kids future and lives.  They were heroes even before this.  All teachers are.

I will conclude by saying that I hope this brings some light to our country, to our people.  I hope that you consider that every day could be your last.  On Christmas night I will have my family light candles for all that have lost their lives in this horrific event and another candle for my daughter.  As a mother, who lost a precious child too soon, I feel your pain... But I will never say that I know exactly what you are going through, because no one does.  Love every day, and make each day count.  Kiss your loved ones and let them know how you feel always.  You never know what may happen next.